So You Stop Spiraling and Actually Feel Confident About Your Money

Let me take you somewhere.

It’s you.
Alone.
Opening your investment account for the first time in a while.

You’ve been doing everything “right”:

• Contributing every month

• Earning more

• Building wealth (technically)

And then…

You log in.

And it’s chaos.

Red numbers.
Green numbers.
Percentages.
Charts.
Ticker symbols that look like license plates.

And your brain goes:

👉 “Oh my god… what am I looking at?”

Followed quickly by:

👉 “Have I been doing this wrong the whole time??”

Close tab.
Emotional spiral.
Try again in 6 months.

Sound familiar?

Yeah. You are not alone.

In fact, this exact moment I had is what inspired this entire episode.

So today? We’re fixing it.

First: Why This Feels So Overwhelming

Let’s normalize something real quick:

👉 The anxiety you feel when you open your account is NOT about money.

It’s about not understanding what you’re looking at.

Because when your brain sees something unfamiliar?

It defaults to fear.

And suddenly:

• Red = bad

• Green = good

• And everything else = panic

So before we even get into what to look at…

We need to talk about what to stop looking at immediately.

🚫 What NOT to Look At

Let’s start with the biggest offender:

❌ Daily changes (aka the drama)

You know those numbers like:

• “Today’s gain/loss”

• “Daily % change”

• “3-month performance”

Yeah.

👉 Ignore them. Completely.

Those numbers are telling you:

“How much did this go up or down… since yesterday.”

And unless you are:

• A day trader

• A hedge fund manager

• Or someone who enjoys unnecessary stress

👉 This is irrelevant to your life.

Because you? You are a long-term investor.

Which means you’re thinking in:

👉 5, 10, 20+ year timelines

Not 24 hours.

The Reality Check You Needed

If you’re investing for 20 years…
and reacting to 20 days…
you will ALWAYS feel unstable.

And that’s exactly what happened to me.

I saw all those red numbers and thought:

👉 “My portfolio is doing terrible.”

Meanwhile?

I was up +18% 😅(very good)

✅ What to Actually Look At (This Is Where Confidence Comes From)

Now let’s get into the good stuff.

Because once you know what to focus on, everything clicks.

1. Your TOTAL Invested (Yes, All of It)

First thing:

👉 How much do you have invested… across everything?

Not just:

• One account

• One 401k

• One app

ALL of it.

Because a lot of women:

👉 Look at pieces… but never the full picture.

And this is important because:

You’ve been building wealth longer than you think.

Even if you didn’t fully understand it.

And we celebrate that!

2. Where Your Money Lives (This One Changes Your Life)

This is BIG.

Look at:

👉 Total amount in your retirement accounts vs. non-retirement accounts

Why?

Because this tells you:

👉 When you can actually use your money

Retirement accounts:

• 401k

• IRA

→ Long-term (locked up until later in life)

Non-retirement (brokerage):

→ Flexible, usable anytime

This is where people get tripped up.

Because you can have a high net worth…

…and still feel like you’re financially stuck.

Why?

👉 Because all your money is tied up in retirement accounts or illiquid assets like a house.

This Is the Real Wealth Move

Not just:

👉 “How much do I have?”

But:

👉 “How much of it is usable in my life?”

That’s financial freedom.

3. Your Allocation (The Real Driver of Your Wealth)

Okay THIS is the one that actually matters.

👉 Your allocation = your portfolio’s vibe

It’s usually something like:

• 90% stocks / 10% bonds

• 80% stocks / 20% bonds

Here’s what that means:

Stocks = Growth 🚀

• You can expect to see more ups and downs of your account balance

• In the long term, you can expect higher returns

Bonds = Stability 🧘‍♀️

• Less volatility (ups and downs)

• But won’t grow as much over the long term as stocks

The Rule of Thumb

• If you’re younger → more stocks

• If you’re older or closer to goals → more bonds

Because:

👉 You want your money to grow first, then you want to protect what you’ve got later on.

4. Your Holdings (Without Spiraling, Please)

This is the page that used to take me OUT.

All the:

• Weird names

• Ticker symbols

• “Mutual funds” (??)

But here’s the shift:

👉 You are NOT trying to understand everything here.

You are just checking ONE thing:

👉 Are you diversified?

Meaning:

• Are you invested in funds (good)

• Or mostly individual stocks (riskier)

The Simplest Way to Think About It

• Funds = baskets that hold lots of stocks (so you aren’t betting on ONE company to perform well)

• Stocks = betting on ONE company to perform well

If you see:

• Mutual funds

• ETFs (Exchange Traded Funds)

• Target date funds

👉 You’re off to a good start.

5. Fees (The Silent Wealth Killer)

Okay this one matters more than you think and it’s not talked about enough.

If you own a fund, you’re being charged a fee called an

👉 Expense ratio

And over time?

These can cost you:

👉 Hundreds of thousands of dollars 😳

So you definitely want to check that you’ve got:

• Low-cost funds

• Simple structure

Because we do NOT build wealth just to hand it over in fees. Personally I buy funds with expense ratios that are <.2%.

6. Performance (But Let’s Not Be Dramatic)

I know this is what you want to look at.

👉 “Is my portfolio doing well??”

And the answer is (drumroll):

👉 It depends.

But let’s give you some grounding.

For Stock-Heavy Portfolios:

Over the long term (10+ years), average growth per year:

• ~8–10% = solid

• 10–12% = great

Short term (1 year):

• 15–25% = strong year

• 8–10% = normal

• 0 to -10% = meh but normal

• -10 to -20% = uncomfortable… but still normal

The Mindset Shift

A bad year ≠ bad investing

And:

A higher account balance ≠ necessarily mean better strategy

Because everything depends on:

• Your timeline

• Your goals

• Your allocation

How Often Should You Check Your Account?

You’re not going to like this answer.

Once you know your portfolio is set up the right way for YOU,

👉 1–3 times per year is plenty.

I know. It sounds like nothing.

But here’s why:

The more you tinker…
the worse results tend to be.

Because then you start:

• Reacting to headlines

• Timing the market

• “Feeling” your way through decisions instead of using data

And statistically?

👉 That performs worse.

The Biggest Mistake I See (And It’s Not What You Think)

It’s not picking the wrong fund.

It’s not market timing.

It’s this:

👉 Not understanding liquidity

Meaning:

• How much is accessible

• vs. locked away

Because I’ve seen women:

• Build amazing portfolios

• And then feel stuck

Because they can’t actually use their money.

The Real Goal

Is not about:

• Memorizing terms

• Becoming a finance expert

• Or checking your account every day

It’s about this:

Opening your account…
and actually knowing what you’re looking at.

So you feel:

• Calm

• In control

• Confident

Not confused. Avoidant. Dependent on someone else.

Your Next Move (Do This Once, Not 100 Times)

Next time you open your account:

👉 Ignore:

• Daily changes

• Short-term noise

👉 Look at:

• Total invested

• Account types

• Allocation

• Diversification

• Fees

That’s it.

That’s your power move.

Want Help Actually Understanding Your Accounts?

Because reading this is one thing…

But applying it to:

• Your 401k

• Your brokerage

• Your actual investments

That’s where things click.

✨ Download my free guide: Understanding Your Investments
✨Or book a 1:1 Decision & Clarity Session

We’ll walk through your accounts together—no shame, no confusion, just clarity.

The Identity Shift

You are:

👉 under-informed about a system no one taught you

And once you understand it?

Everything changes.

You stop:

• Avoiding

• Outsourcing

• Feeling guilty

And you start:

👉 Leading your wealth like the boss woman you are everywhere else in your life.

Disclaimer

This content is for educational purposes only and not personalized financial advice. Your situation may differ—always make decisions based on your own financial picture.